Throughout our lives, we encounter significant’ life events.’ While every person is unique, certain occurrences will be experienced by nearly everyone – such as forming close relationships, changing jobs, and coming to terms with grief. Reactions to such events can have a major bearing on mental well-being.
Research has found that there are widespread similarities in how people rate the upset caused by significant life events, regardless of differences in age, gender, and religion. For example, events such as marital separation, divorce, and bereavement are all ranked as highly stressful.
Marriage and parenthood
Two significant life events which tend to occur in early adulthood are marriage and parenthood. The vast majority of adults marry at least once, and research shows that marriage has both psychological and physical benefits. A US study found that twice as many married people described themselves as being ‘very happy, compared to those who had never married. Sadly, about 40 percent of marriages in the UK – and even more in the USA – end in divorce, with rates being highest during the first five years of marriage and peaking again after 15-25 years. Of course, for some people, divorce can be a relief from an unbearable situation.
Parenthood usually Starts when people are in their 20s or 30s and, in Western societies, is experienced by about 90 percent of people. Having a child can vary more in personal impact and meaning than any other life event. The American psychologists Jeffrey Turner and Donald Helms suggest four reasons why many people have children: to experience a sense of achievement, to give and receive love, to fulfill cultural expectations, and to gain a sense of importance.
Unemployment and retirement
Another critical life event is unemployment. This may lead to anxiety and depression, and there can be damage to self-esteem, especially if the reason for unemployment is felt to be personal incompetence or if redundancy occurs with little or no warning. Another major factor is the reduction in social support owing to the loss of contact with colleagues. To counter such problems, it is important for anyone who is made redundant to keep active and to seek the help of friends and professionals. With a positive attitude, redundancy can even lead to new and stimulating opportunities, such as moving into another area of work entirely.
Retirement, which usually happens in late adulthood, is usually anticipated and experienced without too much psychological upheaval. There is often an immediate feeling ‘ of release and celebration – a ‘ honeymoon period ‘ – but there is also a danger that this may be followed by emptiness and frustration if positive steps are not taken to adjust. It is important to develop a realistic and flexible view of life’s alternatives and to become actively involved in a new lifestyle by pursuing personal interests, for example, or getting involved with the community.
Benefits Of Marriage
- Married people tend to live longer and be healthier (mentally and physically) and happier than unmarried people.
- Men benefit most from marriage. This is perhaps partly due to men having fewer confidants outside marriage and because wives can provide emotional support.
- Couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce later or be more dissatisfied with their marriages than those who don’t cohabit.
Erikson’s Eight Life Stages
According to the US psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, we all go through eight stages of psychosocial development, each stage involving a central personal or social relationship. Erikson believed there is much variation in how people cope with each stage and that this influences how they cope with subsequent stages.
- Age 0- 1 Stage 1 is characterized by trust in self and others. SociaI focus: mother.
- Age 2- 3 Stage 2 is characterized by increasing independence. Social focus: parents.
- Age 4-5 Stage 3 is characterized by showing initiative. Social focus: family.
- Age 6-12 Stage 4 is characterized by industry and working hard. Social focuses: school, friends, and home.
THE EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
Some parents, especially mothers, have in the past reported a period of depression when the youngest child grows up and finally leaves home. This may have been due in part to society’s view of women primarily as mothers.
However, recent research suggests that most parents today do not find their children’s departure from home a distressing time – far from it, in fact. Many report that it is a liberating experience, and they welcome the new opportunities it brings, such as a closer relationship with their partner, returning to education, and pursuing hobbies and interests.
