It is often said that life is what you make it, and there is some truth in this when it comes to dealing with stressful events. The way we respond to life’s ups and downs depends very much on personality and experience, but everyone can learn to respond more successfully to challenging circumstances.
Often, the stress we experience has more to do with everyday hassles – noise, family disputes, money worries and so on- than with major life events. The mind tends to cope with ongoing ‘stressors’ (the events or situations that cause us to feel stressed) in different ways. Either people become habituated, or accustomed, to stresses and cease to be affected, or it accumulates to become what psychologists call a state of chronic stress.
Noise is a common cause of stress. If there is long-term building work going on near your home, you probably find it quite stressful for the first few days or so, but then you don’t notice it quite so much. This is an example of habituation. But if you go on holiday, and the work is still going on when you return, you will probably need to habituate yourself all over again. Research has shown that most people suffer few long-term health effects from noise, but this isn’t true for everyone: older people and children seem to be more vulnerable to the stress effects of noise. One study showed that children who lived in the flight path of an airport performed less well on problem-solving tasks.
Coping styles – confront or avoid?
A useful way of looking at stress responses is to consider the different styles of coping. When things go wrong, do you try to tackle the situation, or do you hope things will improve? Psychologists agree that, when faced with a stressful event, most people respond by either confronting or avoiding the problem. Doctors have observed this in patients who are diagnosed with a serious illness.’Avoidant patients will not seem to take it in – they will not tell their loved ones and may behave as if nothing has happened. By contrast, the patient who adopts a ‘ confrontative’ coping style will want to know all about the illness and the treatment options.
There is no right or wrong coping style, but one or another may be more effective in certain situations. In general, the avoidant approach might be more successful in dealing with short-term threats: avoiding strangers whose attitude appears threatening may be better than confronting them, for example. When it comes to a long-term threat, however – like a diagnosis of serious illness – then it is probably best to face the problem head-on.
Optimism for health
An optimistic outlook helps people deal better with stress. A study of heart patients undergoing bypass surgery found that the optimistic patients recovered faster and we’re back to normal life sooner than those who were more pessimistic. It seems that optimistic people are more likely to adopt a problem-solving strategy to tackle stressful events and will look out for the positive aspects of the situation, which can help to cause problems. A classic example is the way people react to being made redundant. Of course, there are feelings of hurt, rejection and anxiety. Still, the optimist who sees losing his or her job as an opportunity to do something new probably lowers the risk of developing stress-related ill health. Despite the difficult circumstances, the optimist feels in control because their response gives them hope and forms the basis for future positive action.
The Hardy Type
Have you ever wondered how some people seem to breeze through life, seemingly unaffected by stress – even though they have their fair share of problems? Such people are said to have a ‘hardy’ personality, an idea that psychologist Suzanne Kobasa and her colleagues developed from a 1979 study of high-powered US business executives. Close who were never ill, despite their heavy workload, were distinguished from those with poorer health by specific personality traits. Kobasa found three main characteristics that makeup hardiness: commitment to what you are involved in, a sense of control – feeling that you are responsible for what happens in your life; and the ability to rise to a challenge. No wonder people with a hardy personality cope so well with what life throws at them.
The Stress Of a Flooded Home
When Barbara, a 28-year-old divorced mother-of-two, was forced out of her home by severe flooding, she found that much more than just her property was affected.’When we were flooded out last year, we went to stay with friends. It was supposed to be just until we had cleaned things up. But somehow, I couldn’t face dealing with the mess. I kept putting it off, telling myself it was best to wait till the water went down. Then, there was all the paperwork from the insurance company. I still have not filled out the forms. We moved back eventually, but we’re living upstairs, and we tend to spend every weekend with my Mum. The longer I leave it, the less I feel like sorting all the problems out. The kids are getting pretty upset about the situation, and the little one’s got a persistent cough because of the dampness. I want to sell the house, but I haven’t done anything about it. Now reports say that more floods are coming our way soon.’
Barbara’s coping style was avoidant. Although this probably helped at first, as time went on, avoiding her problems and putting things off resulted in many smaller worries accumulating and causing her even more stress.
